I guess I have learned alot: some things about me and some more things about other people. I enjoy writing my little stories of life here at Bethany and hope to continue to do so. However, I had another inspiration this week for the future of Bethune Catholic.
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Some years ago a group of men from my parish were providing escorts and security for an all-night Eucharistic Adoration vigil for life. I drew one of the wee hours. I think my replacement didn't show up, so I stayed on for some more hours. I brought with me a little book: The Ways of God by Thomas Aquinas (Sophia Institute Press) . There are short chapters on 22 attributes of God and meditations on how we should imitate these attributes in our lives. As I prayed with this little book through the night, I found myself especially meditating on how these attributes of God could be applied specifically in my life in my role as a father.
Fathers, being given the very name of our Father in Heaven, are the first experience our children have of God. If we want to introduce God to our children, then we must reflect His ways in our relations with our children. In some senses, our behavior will impact the way our children think of God-for good or bad-simply because of our name and authority that comes with it.
For example, in matters of discipline fathers need to reflect on whether they have more justice or more mercy or an equal balance. A father who is strong in justice and overbearing in punishment and short on mercy, may unwittingly image to his child a god short on mercy, heavy on punishment-or simply a god who is overbearing and to be feared (not in the same sense as the gift of the Holy Spirit of the same name.) But our God is overflowing with mercy and ready to forgive. Oh yes, Hell exists! But Hell is the choice of men who will not love God. We send ourselves to Hell more than God does.
So, for example, we can ask ourselves: Do the punishments we dole out to our kids reflect the natural consequences (and choice) of the particular bad behavior being punished? This coupled with our mercy and ready forgiveness offered to our children may more accurately reflect how God relates to man's sinfulness than whatever we have doing in the past.
Its not easy. It takes more patience than thought than simply shouting: "And for that offense young man you are off the computer for the next 58 weeks. " And I don't claim to succeed-but we must always strive to be "perfect as our Heavenly Father is".
I recall that the First Communion (Baltimore) Catechism notes that we belong to God-not to our parents. We don't own our children. As parents we take the place of God in raising and caring for them, and in teaching them the ways of God. How better to teach than by example. (Every parent can testify that children are great imitators-especially it seems of our faults-especially in public.)
St. Thomas Aquinas notes (in The Ways of God) that we should model ourselves on our Creator in his attributes and imitate Christ in His actions. (Read this line again and then think about it for a couple minutes.)
So in the next weeks I will share here the notes I wrote down on these chapters which came to me in prayer that day and days hence. In many senses they reflect my own struggle to be a worthy father to my children-at least at that moment in time. (Of course I will edit and update my notes under the assumption that I am wiser than I was 8 years ago.)
I imagine these posts will appear once or twice a week for however long it takes to cover the 22 or so chapters. Today's post acts as my introduction to the series. I will give a short outline of how St. Thomas Aquinas defines the attribute and then give my reflection on how it may apply to being a father.
I hope that some profit comes to someone besides myselft from this series. Comments (via email-link above the profile box) on points I miss or things you don't think I get quite right are welcome.
Our Lady of Joyful Hope - pray for us! ... Oremus pro invicem!
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