Family, Community, & Culture

Yesterday I pointed out 2 places (I didn't even mention, in this context, the Crunchy Con blog), where there was a discussion going on about the decision to move away from family and its ramifications. I have made my opinion known here for instance, in a discussion about 'Catholic re-settlement'.

My position is that the natural community is the family; their most natural support is the extended family. Family traditions become extended family traditions as the generations pass. Extended family traditions become neighborhood, then regional, then cultural traditions. It is hard to build meaningful culture away from your natural community.

So how to explain why the Curley's are 500 miles from the nearest family member and 900+ miles from our family base? (I think the discussion of hypocrsy came up in my comment box a few days ago. I was against it...)

First, I would say that when we moved 900 miles away, my thoughts on culture and community were not so well-developed and I hadn't the experience to understand their importance. Secondly, I needed a new job badly. Staying put didn't seem to be an option (they laid off half my department my last day at the job) and I had looked locally for a few years and nothing was shaking. And thirdly, I was resigned to the economics of the day which made this type of move the norm.

When we started RequiemPress we had the opportunity to move closer to family-and we almost did. I had actually put an offer in on a house in NH (really northern NH) which was about 4 hours away from our main family base. (Granted, 4 hours away is not living in the same community, but it is closer than 16 hours.) This deal fell through, there seemed to be no other optins, and so we settled for Bethune.

You must understand that SC is a low cost of living part of the country. A $150K house in Columbia, SC goes for $400K+ Norwood, MA where I grew up, and for $250 or more in southern NH. (And in a place like Bethune, the difference is even pronounced.) And while salaries are higher in MA and NH, they don't keep up with the housing. It is easer to build and rely on a family economy in a low cost area. And while it is easy (economically) to move from MA to SC, it is extremely difficult to move the other direction. So my goal is to get everyone to move HERE! (The house sitting in the cornfield next door is for sale!!!)

Mrs. Curley and I regret and discuss often that our children won't know their grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins like they should. Of course many of our siblings don't live near the old family homesteads either: VA, KY, IL, NH, CA(nada), PA.

Now we are here. (In many ways, even if not ideal theoretically, we have felt the hand of Providence in the connections we have made.) We have some great Catholic friends, both in Columbia where we spent almost 10 years, and now too in our new parish, St. Catherine's in Lancaster, SC. And we (us and our friends) are conscioustly trying to build a Catholic community and culture even though almost all of us are displaced from our family bases. We don't live in the same neighborhoods even here, so it is a conscious effort to play and pray together as often as possible is there.

There is much more to say about this (and blessing we have received here), but there is also much work to do this morning. From Bethany, the small holding in Bethune...Oremus pro invicem!

PS: The last day before Lent: Drink some Guinness! (okay, I stole this line from Chesterton and friends - its a good one though).